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This piece of advice applies to anyone who is having trouble meeting other Christians who they would want to date. If you are not meeting anyone in your circle, one solution is to start looking outside of your social box. We all have a social box. We all come from a certain culture, from a certain neighborhood, from a certain economic environment, and from a certain family background.
Visit a church with a different culture. For example, have you ever considered dating someone who already has kids? This is a radical idea for some, but the older you get the more unrealistic it becomes that you will find someone who has been totally single there whole life. There are a lot of beautiful Christian single moms and strong Christian single dads out there that have grown from their past life experiences and are now ready to be a great spouse.
So think outside the box. You never know what could happen. Lastly, one huge problem that often causes prolonged singleness is perfectionism. In general, perfectionism kills productivity. When you apply this principle to Christian dating, sometimes the reason people remain single for so long is because they have too many requirements and boxes they need to check before they will ever give a guy or a girl a chance.
But perhaps you need to shorten your list of requirements. Our thoughts, dreams, and expectations as young people rarely match reality. When we get older, we can either cling to our fantasies and get bitter or depressed that our hopes are never fulfilled; or we can adjust our expectations and learn to appreciate people for who they are rather than pick them apart for who they are not.
There are oftentimes good options out there, but there are never perfect options out there. What qualities are you placing too much importance on? What qualities might you want in a guy or girl but are not absolute necessities? The more expectations you have the less likely you will ever meet someone just like that. Just be open to God doing something creative in your relationships.
How to Interpret Dreams and Without a Christian spouse you will either drift away from God or make your spouse a functional god. Look…Christians are called to be missionaries. The dating world, however, is not the place to be a missionary. Marry someone who loves Jesus. And spread the gospel as missionaries together. If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp.
Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is designed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it.
Yes…this is a primary value. If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage?
No…this is a secondary value. Ever handled a shotgun? If not, let me fill you in. When you pull the trigger, these balls spread over a large range, increasing the chance you hit the target. Five of those should be keepers. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse. Not a good idea. Get to know yourself. Suddenly, when marriage begins, you are asked to flip a switch. Date with a trajectory towards marriage. God knows it is not good for man to be by himself.
Enter Eve, pro-creation, and marriage not necessarily in that order. And the most intimate community on earth is the relationship you will have with your spouse. So, pray for God to send you a spouse. Can you imagine how constantly hearing this question from friends, family, and unsuspecting old ladies makes some singles believe they have a problem?
See it as an opportunity to serve God. When you date, allow the community of people around to speak into your relationship. Your feelings can deceive you. I know too many men and women who refused to listen to people around them, and their prideful arrogance resulted in a failed marriage. Find men and women you trust, and allow them to speak into your relationship.
In the process, I filled my heart and mind with lust, and I secretly struggled with pornography. Christians, instead, need to teach the importance of a pure mind. A pure mind might be the greatest gift you can give your future spouse. It allows you to jump into marriage with a clear conscience. Just you, your spouse, and God. A pure mind is the greatest gift you can give your future spouse.
You have not made covenant vows to one another. So, the person you are dating is not yours. Dating and marriage are not for those who rely on another person for joy, peace, and purpose. Co-dependent dating leads to co-dependent marriages.