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Explained in more depth in his article We all want the same things in a partner, but why? Karantzas summarises that we are subconsciously assessing all the information available to determine if this potential match meets these needs. When we look at online profiles, the main thing we have to assess is photos. But it does come with its challenges. The choices are endless; which sites and apps do we use, how many profiles do we look at, how do we compare matches, what do we include in our own profiles?
The process is like a continuous conveyor belt, and can sometimes lead to feelings of disappointment. When meeting someone online, Assoc. Karantzas suggests we also tend to scrutinise our potential matches far more closely than we would if we met them face-to-face. Even though we meet online, things will eventually merge IRL. The minute we take things offline, the traditional aspects of dating kick in.
These things can often be difficult to establish through text. He suggests that these difficulties arise because we are missing key information that we have been using for years to make sense of communication with others; non-verbal behaviours and body language.
Sometimes online, people have the ability to alter situations to make some aspects of their life seem more flattering. Is everyone doing this? But it does happen. Karantzas explains how this is easier to do online because of the control we have over our digital footprint.
Many online dating sites and apps are more than happy to broadcast the thousands of matches that their users experience, encouraging singles to use their service to find a partner because of their success rate. Karantzas warns, however, there is no solid evidence to suggest a higher success rate in finding your ideal match online rather than face-to-face.
It seems like people are more comfortable striking up a conversation making it much easier to find a romantic connection. With that said, this new style of dating can also become exhausting. Re-reading text messages to figure out what your crush really meant and counting how many of your Instagram posts they liked or Snapchat stories they watched to decipher whether they are interested or not is a lot of work.
In terms of the beginning of a relationship, we now sit around and wait for that special someone to text us back. So we let our minds wander to bad places. While sitting around examining these messages over and over again, we eventually have to come to terms with the fact that we may be waiting for a text message that will never come. Imagine if you were on a date and your partner just stopped talking in the middle of your dinner and walked out without saying anything.
That would be completely unacceptable and yet, is the old-fashioned equivalent to the act of ghosting someone. These are the types of questions we find necessary to ask ourselves about dating and defining the relationship. Romance - the kind we read about in books, see in the movies, or hear about from parents - seems to be dying out to the point where getting a call from someone you are interested in or being asked out on an "official" date is a thing of the past.
If things keep going the way they currently are, maybe one day dates will just be people sitting in their own homes, having their own dinners, and texting each other while they do so.