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I found that relationship experts at a major university used the acronym FACES to test a few components of compatibility. Our families influence how we handle conflict, communication, and gender roles.
Attitudes include everything from how a person differentiates right from wrong to how much empathy a potential partner has. This is where those likes and dislikes, goals and values and questions of extraversion vs.
Early on in a relationship you may be inclined to overlook some pretty serious incompatibilities. No matter how great the sex is, no matter how attractive she is, do not throw your core values and personality traits out the window just to suit her.
Proceed at your own risk. Good communication skills and the way you handle conflict are an excellent indicator of how you will fare as a couple. With those university-researched components in mind, I set about devising a questionnaire for couples to determine their compatibility. Of course, if someone has a pattern of dishonesty, she may not answer this question truthfully. If possible, follow up with an ex or talk to her friends—hopefully they are one and the same; the ability to maintain friendships with past lovers is a sign of integrity and maturity in relationships.
But look for clues as you socialize with her friends. Do people roll their eyes whenever her past relationships are mentioned? Listen closely to the answer. Sexual incompatibility is one of the main culprits behind both infidelity and breakups.
Would she make a good co-parent? Think ahead, and think what qualities you hope a mother would possess. Then, see how she stacks up. This is not a primetime interview with a presidential candidate. These are questions to stimulate a conversation, not play gotcha. What marriage values and principles are the most important to you?
What community values and principles are the most important to you? What world values and principles are the most important to you? Using single words or phrases, how would you describe yourself? Where do you see yourself in five 5 years to 10 years? To Discover Similarities What are your favorite websites? What are your favorite television shows? What are your favorite movies? What kinds of music do you like? Who are your favorite bands?
Who are your favorite singers? What kind of magazines do you read? What type of books do you read? What is your favorite food? What is your favorite dessert? What is your favorite snack? To Determine Compatibility What is your favorite way to spend an evening during your workweek?
What is your favorite way to spend an evening during your days off from work? What are your favorite ways to spend a vacation? Is participation in family gatherings and celebrations important to you? What are your spiritual beliefs and how do you practice them? Do you look at the nutritional information on food labels as you shop? Do you take vitamin supplements? What kind of exercise or sports activity do you like to do? Are you a member of a gym or health club?
Or do you have equipment at home? Do you look at price tags when you shop? Or do you just get what you want and not worry about the price or getting a deal? The goal of this question is to determine if they are frugal or spendthrifts. This issue breaks up more couples than any other. If you could afford any car, which one would you buy?
The goal of this question is to confirm whether they are truly frugal or spendthrifts. The answer to this question also indicates their position on energy efficiency and environmental issues. How would you describe the perfect house including the decor, furnishings, appliances, and landscaping?
The answers to this question indicate their position on interior design, money management, energy efficiency, and environmental issues. Is punctuality important to you or are you usually a little late?
Do you like everything to be well planned and organized or are you more casual? Do set short and long-term goals for yourself? What is the formula for good communication in a romantic relationship? What do you see as the best way for a couple to resolve conflicts? How would you describe your needs for affection in a relationship? How would you describe your needs for sex in a relationship? To Create Intimacy What is your greatest achievement? What is your greatest disappointment?
What is your best attribute? What is your worst attribute? If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What is your greatest passion? What do you enjoy doing the most? What are your top three 3 most important dreams?
Would you create a list of 10 things that best describes me using single words or phrases, if I do the same for you? It is recommended that you give yourselves several days to work on the list before you meet to exchange or present them.
This will give you time to come up with a meaningful list and develop some tantalizing anticipation! To Inspire Romance What are your favorite songs for love and romance? What are your favorite scents for love and romance?
This would include scents from a fireplace, incense, scented candles, and pheromones. Pheromones are natural chemical scents the body produces to attract others. What are your favorite foods for love and romance? What are your favorite places for love and romance? This would include places such as a particular beach, lake, park, restaurant, nightclub, hotel, mountain cabin, or room within your home. Would you describe your perfect love affair from the beginning to making a commitment to each other, if I do the same?