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If we all read it and didn't even follow it, the world would be a better place. This page may be out of date. Save your draft before refreshing this page.
Submit any pending changes before refreshing this page. Ask New Question Sign In. I'm dating someone in Alcoholics Anonymous. Should I read the big book?
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I am an 18 years clean alcoholic that thinks it is wonderful you are even open to reading it. I agree with the other answers in that you may have trouble relating to it, but the notion of you wanting to understand his addiction is extremely positive and speaks highly of you.
Nobody in my early recovery cared at all about the process I was going through and I would have killed for a loved one to take the time to learn more about it all.
I think it would have been beneficial to both my recovery and to my chances for staying clean. My suggestion is reading the big book is a great idea to support him, and that you should get your fanny to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon like yesterday to support yourself.
By and large we are a complex group with extra baggage for sure, and any tools you can grab onto will be helpful if you are indeed in love with this guy and want to make a go of a long term relationship with him. Well wishes to you. Is Alcoholics Anonymous a cult? How is Alcoholics Anonymous funded? Does Alcoholics Anonymous destroy friendships? Is Alcoholics Anonymous membership declining? Quora User , Experienced major traumas, including family suicides. Yes, I am a recovering alcoholic, and have been since Quora User , Sakadagami present.
Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are for people who are close to an alcoholic or addict. They have books themselves. They probably, maybe, might be more helpful. I myself as coming from a family with a lot of alcoholism went to Al-Anon for a long time, and ultimately changed over and started going to Codependents Anonymous I didn't like Al-Anon myself so much.
It was too much about "your alcoholic" and not so much about me getting better. Remember those kind of programs are for you, they're not for him, they're to strengthen yourself. It's good to understand what someone else is going through, but often we tend to not know the difference between being supportive and enabling. I'm still working on that myself, sometimes am not so good at it. The AA Big Book is one of those things I'm not sure how it would strike somebody who isn't an alcoholic.
More than half the book is personal stories You could check it out While there are certain AA meetings that are women-only, the availability of these meetings is scarce at best. Hankel said she was frequently the only woman in a group of 15 or more men, because there was simply no other option in her area. Before a couple years ago, she said, there were no women-only meeting at all.
AA boasts over 1. No kid wants to see their parent dating, anyway, but the guys from AA bring it to a whole other level. I was offered drugs there every single time. But what about me? I should put up with that? When she turned 22, she decided to get help, and started going to AA and NA. Her first week there, she met a man who had four years sobriety and began dating him, only to find him isolating her from her friends and family, policing the way she dressed, and eventually hitting her.
Alexia broke it off and left AA, only to fall back into deep depression and substance dependency. When she tried again, months later, to recover, she found AA to be a dangerous place even without an abusive relationship tinging it. I loved that all eyes were on me all the time. In hindsight, I realize I was never really able to focus on my sobriety. She states that the type of attention paid to young women in the programs is detrimental in all ways. She said the drug courts in south-east Georgia, where she and Alexia reside, mandate offenders to go to AA meetings.
When she complained about this procedure, she was told they could go to any meeting and to find a different group.
Stern said the problem is compounded when sex offenders go through the drug courts and are ordered to go to step meetings, which he said is a fairly common occurrence. Stern suggests the judicial system should be revamped. Walton, Stern and Striebel all highly recommend a new peer-support option called Smart Recovery. It is similar to AA and NA, but does not involve citing powerlessness as part of recovery, and does not insist on invoking a higher being to belong to the club.
More importantly, Smart Recovery has a hour online option. The program encourages members to build their own motivation, find ways to cope with urges, manage behaviors and feelings, and start living a balanced life. The only way to combat this that I have found is through empowerment. Blackwood is about to go to court to win visitation privileges with her children again. Hankel is raising a six-year-old girl by herself, while staying clear of drugs and alcohol.
It was through truly learning to love themselves. That discovery was devastating. Drugs Alcohol Health Women Dating features.