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He seems harmless, potentially oblivious to how unsafe this could make a gal feel, but needless to say, she's making some changes to her online dating approach now. We're living in a hyper-connected world where the above scenarios could happen to anyone.
So frankly, you should be concerned with privacy! The more information that exists about you on the web, the more measures you need to take to keep yourself sane and safe. There's nothing to be afraid of with online dating -- you can still meet fabulous matches in a safe way! Use my privacy checklist to keep your digital dating domain a little more intimate:.
You might be surprised what appears in a search engine even without your last name. So once you write your profile, sit down and create a list of the top five terms that someone has access to about you -- the words right there in your profile. One which we find commonly pulls up someone's identity is: When you get a hit that is, in fact, you, stay calm. Staying under the search radar is often as simple as deleting a few words from your profile. For example, with my client Allie, it was her job that set off the Google search.
Even when she simplified the way she described her career, it still resulted in her identity. So she nixed it from her profile entirely, opting only to select an industry drop-down from the dating site instead. You might get a lot of hits if your name is unique, so in extreme cases, you may want to consider signing your messages with a different name. I don't mean lie, but instead protect yourself by using only your first initial "B" , a different spelling of your name "Bettie" instead of "Betty" , or a nickname "Bette" instead of "Bettina".
It's unlikely a man would fault you for being savvy and safe. For clients concerned with seeing coworkers on a dating app or site, I usually suggest they rethink this worry of theirs. If the other person is a member too, what do you have to be embarrassed about? But for clients like Jennifer who find the concern insurmountable, there are new, special features that allow you to pick and choose who sees your profile.
When someone you message views your profile, it looks just the same as any other -- no special call out that you're keeping things under the radar. OkCupid's newly-launched "Incognito" feature works the same way. Other sites and apps use Facebook Connect to automatically remove people already in your circle from your view.
The idea is that if you already know them, you have other ways to flirt with them -- or maybe it hasn't happened for good reason! We suggest a meet, and get her number. The rest is up to you You love the promise, and idea of convenience. From the time consuming, tedious messages that result in dead-ends, to the intimidating number of thirsty suitors competing for her attention. Online dating enables attractive women to be almost impossibly selective, and act like A.
D flakes at the slightest misstep. Or worse, trashed like a scrap of digital toilet paper. Just to keep the interaction alive. Finally, we have to ask for the date at the right time. Not too quickly as to scare the cat, nor too long that she gets bored, swooped up by a another guy, or a thousand other reasons for a fruitless outcome. Setting you up right for the in-person date. After 10, hours invested, and over in-person dates thanks Microsoft Excel , I quietly achieved mastery.
The next step was to let someone else take over. Here at PDA, everyone is welcome.