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Many women go straight to their girlfriends for advice on dating and relationships when a professional source is needed.
An unbiased professional -- someone who sees issues objectively -- is a better choice. A coach will tell you the truth about your readiness to date. A well-meaning friend may not be so honest. My advice is, before you join the dating boomers, seek out professional help from a trained counselor or coach like myself. In this case, you need a coach more than you need to eat another chocolate bar with a girlfriend! Being afraid to go solo: Solo is the way to go when you are looking to meet someone to date.
Although we love being with our girlfriends, constantly traveling with a group of gal pals is a recipe for disaster. I know it takes time to feel comfortable traveling alone, so you need to practice. I suggest taking a class, going to a show, concert, movie or opera alone. Take yourself out for dinner and sit near the bar area.
If you're feeling confident, have dinner at the bar. If you spot someone of interest, catch his eye for a few seconds and smile. Perhaps he will come over and introduce himself. If he doesn't, count it as practice.
A woman alone is approachable, confident and mysterious. The more you practice going out alone, the easier it is. I tell clients, if you want to meet an interesting man, be an interesting woman.
Remember, men are attracted to women who are independent and fun -- women who have interesting lives of their own. Being someone other than your "genuine self" on a first date: Talking about work may feel safe, but it's not a good first date conversation.
If you had a bad day, stay home unless you can bring a positive, approachable attitude along. Before going out, I put on some upbeat or romantic music, dance by myself in my home and think happy thoughts. I leave my past in the past. If you don't have time to go home prior, dress for work in something "dateable" like a wrap dress, a pencil skirt, or a fabulous sweater or satin blouse that makes you feel pretty. Focus on a positive mood, be aware of your posture and stand tall.
Add your favorite perfume, freshen your makeup and hair and smile. Your smile is always your most important beauty accessory and a welcoming appearance enhancer. Breaking plans to date: It's a mistake to break plans with girlfriends or alter your schedule if dating conflicts occur.
Men don't change their schedules and you shouldn't either. Do keep doing what you enjoy and incorporate new experiences into a broadening social scene. I attend movie classes alone and add new classes each year to my schedule, no matter what is going on in my life.
Men are attracted to women who have a vibrant life and who take care of themselves outside and inside. They will only like you more. Always nurture your spirit and do things that give yourself pleasure. Have a steady hand and be prepared to heal wounds. Her other marriage didn't work out so she is carrying some emotional baggage. She may get angry at you for no good reason, so you should be ready to handle her ups and downs.
Let her have her say and then calmly get on with your date, if that's still your desire. Know where to draw the line. Divorced women can be high maintenance, so know when to call it quits and know when to be understanding. This will all depend on how much you're willing to tolerate, though she might be precisely what you're looking for.
Phillip Chappell has been a professional writer in Canada since He began his work as a freelancer for "Senior Living Magazine" before being hired at the "Merritt News" in British Columbia, where he wrote mostly about civic affairs. He is a temporary reporter for the "Rocky Mountain Outlook. Dating a divorced woman can require strength. Meet Singles in your Area! How to Date a Divorced Woman: View Singles Near You. The Pitfalls of Dating a Married Woman.
The Disadvantages of Dating a Married Woman.